VEGAN COOL WHIP IS COMING. And it’s not made from nasty chemical death! It’s made from delicious coconut cream! And it looks EFFING AMAZING OH MY GOD GIVE IT TO ME NOW. (That’s the technical term for how it looks, fyi.)

Via VegNews:

In four weeks, So Delicious Dairy Free will be launching its brand-new CocoWhip—a vegan coconut-based whipped cream. There really is nothing more to say, is there?

No. No there is not.

(p.s. it’s made with organic coconut milk, is GMO-free and carrageenan-free, and the retail price will be $3.99!)

Attention all people who enjoy things that are fun! 

Honey LaBronx, everyone’s favorite vegan drag queen, is now regularly hosting vegan drag karaoke on the last Monday of each month at Baby Grand. 

What makes this particular karaoke vegan you say? First, did you know that all other karaoke involves animal cruelty? And by animal cruelty I mean innocent humans being forced to listen to drunk straight boys singing Journey. The struggle is real. Second! Baby Grand is totally cool with you bringing in as much food as you want! AS MUCH AS YOU WANT. You could have a potluck meetup or bring in homemade brownies it’s all okay! Or if you’re of the lazier persuasion (insert fist bump of solidarity) you can have food delivered right to your comfy, seated, stunning self at the bar, again, this is all totally cool and allowed. Rock on Baby Grand!

This is basically like Vegan Drinks but with karaoke and a drag queen. Yes we have been reading your diary. 

There is no cover, no drink minimum, and no shame in eating as much as you want! Seriously this night is basically the best thing ever. Oh, and if you are wondering about Honey LaBronx, let me put your mind to ease. That bitch can sing. 

The next drag karaoke night is August 25th, 830pm, so go on out and bring your friends! And tell Honey I sent you cause that queen is always moaning that I never do anything for her. 

Vegan white chocolate, like Santa, the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny, has historically (yes, HISTORICALLY) been nothing more than a magical lie. A goddamned beautiful magical LIE! And if you could get your hands on it, it tasted like overly sweet white chalk, or worse. I don’t know what’s worse than overly sweet white chalk but if you’ve eaten most vegan white chocolates, you would know. And actually, non-vegan white chocolate, for that matter. That stuff can be FUNKY, and NOT funky FRESH. It’s a hard dish to crack, but it’s finally been done, and for that we should all get down on our knees and praise Easter Bunny. I don’t know where I’m going with this. Let’s get to the candy.

Of course it was that genius Melodi from Obsessive Confection Disorder who successfully veganized white chocolate into the tasty candy it deserved to be. She sent me some to try and it. is. like. WHOA.

It is just … it’s otherworldly. It’s sweet, but not insanely sweet, and oh so creamy, and it melts on your tongue. It is the best stuff on Earth. Order it all now before I do because not only do I want to eat it solo, I want to add it to baked goods and melt it on top of berries. It is the nectar of the gods and you NEED IT. Also, you probably need everything else Melodi makes because girlfriend is a vegan candy GODDESS. Make way for the REAL Tooth Fairy, because she has arrived and she is Good.

Well, it’s hard to know where to begin with something as crazy as this, but here you go:

This week Ron Prestage, the president-elect of the National Pork Producers Council—and of Prestage Farms, which HSUS exposed with an undercover investigation—allegedly tried to get inside the US Capitol building with a loaded semiautomatic gun. Who knows what he was planning on doing once inside, but fortunately police arrested him. He spent the night in jail and was arraigned the next day.

One can only speculate about what was—or wasn’t—going through his mind, but perhaps he’s not too pleased about the fact that, according to the Wall Street Journal, meat’s getting more expensive than fruits and veggies.

Or maybe he’s upset that rock legend Steven Tyler of Aerosmith this week slammed gestation crates and urged a ban on them in Massachusetts.

Or maybe he didn’t like Al Sharpton’s MSNBC segment this week with HSUS CEO Wayne Pacelle and former HSUS investigator Cody Carlson about how cruel and un-transparent the meat industry is.

Either way, have a good—and safe!—weekend!

P.S. Video of the week: This Doberman really loves this pool slide!

P.P.S. Photo of the week: Pork industry executive Ron Prestage being walked in handcuffs away from the Capitol…

Subway is testing a vegan sandwich option at limited locations! Hooray!! Let’s ask them to make this more widely available at WeLoveSubway.com because more vegan options is a win for animals, no matter what they are. Plus, you know you want to eat at Subway sometimes. Don’t front.

SUBWAY! EAT FRESH! (OR CLOSE ENOUGH!)

(Plus White Castle is also testing a veggie burger! What a time to be alive!)

[via Compassion Over Killing’s FB page!]